Still Alive...
Thursday, May 1st, 2008 07:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
auntbijouI haven't been around much lately, save for the odd comment here and there. It's been a...hmmmm... how do I put this? Well, Auntie has been rather like Alice's White Queen lately, running as fast as she can just to stay in one place. It seems like I've been running to stay in one place since Saturday!
Sunday was the Big Family Pow-Wow in Houston where my sisters and I sat down with the parents and decided what exactly we are going to do. I am glad now that I insisted that Mom and Dad needed to be involved. As I told both of my sisters, Mom and Dad are adults and they need to have a say in what happens to them. It's all well and good for us to figure out what needs to be done, and how to do it, but any decision making needs to involve them. After all, they aren't incapacitated... yet.
While we were talking, the Husbandly One was preparing the ground, so to speak, with my mom, sitting down and chatting with her about what she wanted, and what she thought needed to be done. He and I had already talked about this, because neither of us wanted to see what had happened with his parents happening with mine. Though I have to say that my sisters are not as unreasonable as his oldest sister seems to be. We actually talk to each other, for one thing, whereas his sister has never talked to us, and won't because we aren't "good Catholics."
Apparently, we're "bad Catholics."
She obviously has no idea that it's worse than that. We're "good Wiccans."
Anyhow, my sisters and I sat at the Blonde Sister's kitchen table and discussed options. The Practical Sister had calmed down considerably and finally told us what had upset her so greatly last week. My mom had a fall a couple of weeks ago. I knew this, because she called me after she had gotten back from the doctor. Their house is clutthered and crowded with a lifetime's accumulated impedimenta, and their back bedroom is the most crowded room in the house.
Naturally, this is where their computer is.
She was getting up to follow my dad out of the room and lost her blance, which she does much more often now, and she fell. As she put it, "well, I didn't fall on the hard, hardwood floor. I most fortunately fell into a wicker basket."
O_O!!!
Daddy helped her up and insisted they go to the doctor. Who determined that she didn't have broken ribs merely because she only winced when he palpated her sides. Evidently, this doctor has no idea of her incredibly high pain threshold (boy, do I have stories about that!).
My sister got upset because a week and a half later, she was helping Mom change clothes... and she saw the bruises. And she said, "I suddenly realized how close it had all been. Daddy's so hard of hearing, even with his hearing aids on. And he takes them off when he goes to bed. And he sleeps nearly all the time now. What if she had fallen when he was asleep? She would have had to lie there for hours until he woke up! What if she broke a hip? She could be dead by the time he got up!!"
Yeah. A major concern. We also found out from the Practical Sister that Mom has lost nearly 80 % of the vision in her left eye. No, Mom has not mentioned that to either me or the Blonde Sister. She also had to go have a CAT scan last week, because her doc was concerned she may have bleeding in her brain, which might by why she's losing vision in that eye, and why she is having so much trouble with balance. (the tests came back normal, thank goodness!)
Well, what we ALL decided was,for now, the parents can stay in their home. With conditions. One of them being that they have to have an emergency call service, like Life Alert or (what I'm voting for)Brinks. This way, if either of them has a fall and the other can't hear or can't help, they've got a call button on a necklace they can push. The second is that someone, meaning the Practical Sister, the Blonde Sister, and their nieces, drop in at least 3 times a week to check on them. When the two younger nieces objected, I glared and said, "Okay, when I was y'all's age, I was the general gofer for two great aunts that I absolutely detested. I hated them. I did not want to be around them. BUT, I took them to doctors' appointments, I took them grocery shopping, to the post office, to pay bills, to visit friends, etc, because that was my DUTY."
"But M and A have jobs," the Blonde Sister started,and I snorted.
"You forget, I had a job, too, and I was going to school full time. But did Mom let me beg off because of that? NO." I gave M the Hairy Eyeball. "If you can work full time and manage to drive three and a half hours at least 3 or more times a week to see your boyfriend in San Antonio, surely you can drive 45 minutes to Grandmother's house once a week to take her grocery shopping, or to get her hair done, or take her to the doctor. And you, Missy," I said, fixing A with the same Hairy Eyeball, "if you can work full time, and then go to your boyfriend's house because you have nothing better to do at home, then you can manage one day at Grandmother's and help her clean her kitchen, or the bathroom, or something. I bet your boyfriend would have no problem going with you to help out, maybe mow the lawn for Grand-Daddy, or help him with his roses..."
"I'd love to!" said her boyfriend with a big grin. "I love your grandparents, A. You really should help them out, and it would be fun!" He's from a big family, so he gets it.
"See?" I said. "There's two days covered, right there."
We hammered a lot of other details out, one being a mass decluttering of Grandma and Grand-Daddy's house, having a "family dinner" every second Sunday of the month, rotating it to be at each sister's house so that we all stay in touch. I think my sisters have realized how much we're starting to drift apart, and that our parents are not going to force us to stay in contact. The parents are going to be dragged along to these family gatherings, so they are out of their house and with all of us at least once a month. That whenever one of us is visiting at Grandma's, whether for a weekend or just as an errand, we do things to fix or clean (which I've been doing for the last five years, but hey, it's good that they finally caught up and joined the program). I'm still working on convincing Mom that she and Dad could really benefit from Meals on Wheels. Until then, I'm considering cooking a bunch of meals, putting them in containers and freezing them so that all they have to do is pop them in the microwave et voila! Frozen dinner!
There's a lot more, but that's the basic gist of it.
For the rest of it, this past week has been a busy whirl of phone calls, doctor appointments so that the Impertinent Daughter has her physical for playing junior high sports, and re-doing the appointment for her to see a neurologist for her headaches, running errands, grocery shopping, excavating under the couches (no, you don't wanna know, I really, really mean that), dealing with the aftermath of the plumbing woes of last week (dishes! Mountains and MOUNTAINS of dishes!), and the Asthma Monster made an appearance yesterday.
I've stopped driving to the track, because, why drive when I don't have to, right? I've been walking the block around the two elementary schools behind our house. Each lap is 1.42 miles. I do at least four if I can. Yesterday, I was making my first lap, and passing the soccer practice fields between the two schools and saw with horror that they were mowing. "Well," I thought as I strode on, determined to keep going, "the wind is working in my favor, I'll be okay."
Yeah. Famous last words.
The wind shifted just as I got past the tractors, and it's been very, very dry lately. We're in another drought cycle, I'm thinking. Anyway, not only is there grass and pollen blowing in the air, but now there's dust, too. I seriously thought for a few minutes there that I was going to have to sit down and call 911. But... I could see my back gate, and I felt so silly when I was in sight of my own house, and I stubbornly got up and forced myself to walk the rest of the way home. A shower, a dose of Benadryl, and two hits of my inhaler later, I was in bed and completely miserable, wishing I could find The Skies of Pern, and reading something else entirely and wishing I could sleep instead. But... I had to pick up the kids later and take Miss Priss for her physical.
The paperwork was due today.
And yes, I managed it. And when I got home, I took a double dose of Benadryl. I do not remember last night at all. I remember curling up with a book in bed, then deciding to open the laptop to check LJ and ending up having to run a virus scan instead, and... that's it. I was out at 7:30 last night, and didn't wake up until THO got me up at 6 this morning.
I think this is the first day in awhile I've had to just... be lazy. Because I'm under orders to take it easy today. So...I'm taking it easy.
Can I get up now?
Yeah, don't y'all feel sorry for THO right now? Poor man, trying to keep up with Auntie! He's got his hands full, he does!!
Sunday was the Big Family Pow-Wow in Houston where my sisters and I sat down with the parents and decided what exactly we are going to do. I am glad now that I insisted that Mom and Dad needed to be involved. As I told both of my sisters, Mom and Dad are adults and they need to have a say in what happens to them. It's all well and good for us to figure out what needs to be done, and how to do it, but any decision making needs to involve them. After all, they aren't incapacitated... yet.
While we were talking, the Husbandly One was preparing the ground, so to speak, with my mom, sitting down and chatting with her about what she wanted, and what she thought needed to be done. He and I had already talked about this, because neither of us wanted to see what had happened with his parents happening with mine. Though I have to say that my sisters are not as unreasonable as his oldest sister seems to be. We actually talk to each other, for one thing, whereas his sister has never talked to us, and won't because we aren't "good Catholics."
Apparently, we're "bad Catholics."
She obviously has no idea that it's worse than that. We're "good Wiccans."
Anyhow, my sisters and I sat at the Blonde Sister's kitchen table and discussed options. The Practical Sister had calmed down considerably and finally told us what had upset her so greatly last week. My mom had a fall a couple of weeks ago. I knew this, because she called me after she had gotten back from the doctor. Their house is clutthered and crowded with a lifetime's accumulated impedimenta, and their back bedroom is the most crowded room in the house.
Naturally, this is where their computer is.
She was getting up to follow my dad out of the room and lost her blance, which she does much more often now, and she fell. As she put it, "well, I didn't fall on the hard, hardwood floor. I most fortunately fell into a wicker basket."
O_O!!!
Daddy helped her up and insisted they go to the doctor. Who determined that she didn't have broken ribs merely because she only winced when he palpated her sides. Evidently, this doctor has no idea of her incredibly high pain threshold (boy, do I have stories about that!).
My sister got upset because a week and a half later, she was helping Mom change clothes... and she saw the bruises. And she said, "I suddenly realized how close it had all been. Daddy's so hard of hearing, even with his hearing aids on. And he takes them off when he goes to bed. And he sleeps nearly all the time now. What if she had fallen when he was asleep? She would have had to lie there for hours until he woke up! What if she broke a hip? She could be dead by the time he got up!!"
Yeah. A major concern. We also found out from the Practical Sister that Mom has lost nearly 80 % of the vision in her left eye. No, Mom has not mentioned that to either me or the Blonde Sister. She also had to go have a CAT scan last week, because her doc was concerned she may have bleeding in her brain, which might by why she's losing vision in that eye, and why she is having so much trouble with balance. (the tests came back normal, thank goodness!)
Well, what we ALL decided was,for now, the parents can stay in their home. With conditions. One of them being that they have to have an emergency call service, like Life Alert or (what I'm voting for)Brinks. This way, if either of them has a fall and the other can't hear or can't help, they've got a call button on a necklace they can push. The second is that someone, meaning the Practical Sister, the Blonde Sister, and their nieces, drop in at least 3 times a week to check on them. When the two younger nieces objected, I glared and said, "Okay, when I was y'all's age, I was the general gofer for two great aunts that I absolutely detested. I hated them. I did not want to be around them. BUT, I took them to doctors' appointments, I took them grocery shopping, to the post office, to pay bills, to visit friends, etc, because that was my DUTY."
"But M and A have jobs," the Blonde Sister started,and I snorted.
"You forget, I had a job, too, and I was going to school full time. But did Mom let me beg off because of that? NO." I gave M the Hairy Eyeball. "If you can work full time and manage to drive three and a half hours at least 3 or more times a week to see your boyfriend in San Antonio, surely you can drive 45 minutes to Grandmother's house once a week to take her grocery shopping, or to get her hair done, or take her to the doctor. And you, Missy," I said, fixing A with the same Hairy Eyeball, "if you can work full time, and then go to your boyfriend's house because you have nothing better to do at home, then you can manage one day at Grandmother's and help her clean her kitchen, or the bathroom, or something. I bet your boyfriend would have no problem going with you to help out, maybe mow the lawn for Grand-Daddy, or help him with his roses..."
"I'd love to!" said her boyfriend with a big grin. "I love your grandparents, A. You really should help them out, and it would be fun!" He's from a big family, so he gets it.
"See?" I said. "There's two days covered, right there."
We hammered a lot of other details out, one being a mass decluttering of Grandma and Grand-Daddy's house, having a "family dinner" every second Sunday of the month, rotating it to be at each sister's house so that we all stay in touch. I think my sisters have realized how much we're starting to drift apart, and that our parents are not going to force us to stay in contact. The parents are going to be dragged along to these family gatherings, so they are out of their house and with all of us at least once a month. That whenever one of us is visiting at Grandma's, whether for a weekend or just as an errand, we do things to fix or clean (which I've been doing for the last five years, but hey, it's good that they finally caught up and joined the program). I'm still working on convincing Mom that she and Dad could really benefit from Meals on Wheels. Until then, I'm considering cooking a bunch of meals, putting them in containers and freezing them so that all they have to do is pop them in the microwave et voila! Frozen dinner!
There's a lot more, but that's the basic gist of it.
For the rest of it, this past week has been a busy whirl of phone calls, doctor appointments so that the Impertinent Daughter has her physical for playing junior high sports, and re-doing the appointment for her to see a neurologist for her headaches, running errands, grocery shopping, excavating under the couches (no, you don't wanna know, I really, really mean that), dealing with the aftermath of the plumbing woes of last week (dishes! Mountains and MOUNTAINS of dishes!), and the Asthma Monster made an appearance yesterday.
I've stopped driving to the track, because, why drive when I don't have to, right? I've been walking the block around the two elementary schools behind our house. Each lap is 1.42 miles. I do at least four if I can. Yesterday, I was making my first lap, and passing the soccer practice fields between the two schools and saw with horror that they were mowing. "Well," I thought as I strode on, determined to keep going, "the wind is working in my favor, I'll be okay."
Yeah. Famous last words.
The wind shifted just as I got past the tractors, and it's been very, very dry lately. We're in another drought cycle, I'm thinking. Anyway, not only is there grass and pollen blowing in the air, but now there's dust, too. I seriously thought for a few minutes there that I was going to have to sit down and call 911. But... I could see my back gate, and I felt so silly when I was in sight of my own house, and I stubbornly got up and forced myself to walk the rest of the way home. A shower, a dose of Benadryl, and two hits of my inhaler later, I was in bed and completely miserable, wishing I could find The Skies of Pern, and reading something else entirely and wishing I could sleep instead. But... I had to pick up the kids later and take Miss Priss for her physical.
The paperwork was due today.
And yes, I managed it. And when I got home, I took a double dose of Benadryl. I do not remember last night at all. I remember curling up with a book in bed, then deciding to open the laptop to check LJ and ending up having to run a virus scan instead, and... that's it. I was out at 7:30 last night, and didn't wake up until THO got me up at 6 this morning.
I think this is the first day in awhile I've had to just... be lazy. Because I'm under orders to take it easy today. So...I'm taking it easy.
Can I get up now?
Yeah, don't y'all feel sorry for THO right now? Poor man, trying to keep up with Auntie! He's got his hands full, he does!!
