Grab a chair and a couple of root beers...

Yes, yes, haven't updated in forever, I know, I know. Life has been busy, and plenty to do and all that stuff. As usual.

So, how have things been? Well, let's see. After weeks and weeks of annoying low-level headaches thanks to being reduced to taking Prilosec while waiting to find out what exactly is going on with our medical insurance, I am now back on the Dexilant, and today is the first headache free day I've had in what feels like forever.

Second... I've been hesitant to proclaim this, but seeing as I'm back on the Dexilant, why not?

I haven't taken my asthma meds in over three months. I haven't needed my asthma meds in over three months. This isn't to say I don't have asthma, because I do, but at the moment, I'd say it's relatively mild, almost to non-existent. Why? Because... I don't think I have asthma. I have acid reflux. Which is being taken care of by the Dexilant.

And I have to say, it is the weirdest thing, to realize that I have been taking asthma medications for some twenty years now that... I probably didn't need. Except I did, because twenty years ago, they didn't have any of the medications that they have now for acid reflux. I remember actually getting medication for acid reflux twenty years ago that didn't even come close to making a dent in my asthma... and I wasn't being treated for acid reflux! I was being treated for a gall bladder flare up that had me throwing up almost constantly, and my doctor was trying to protect my esophagus. So... it's extremely weird to think that my problem all this time has been acid reflux, and when I told my gastro that, he said, "Actually, it's quite common," and he explained why, which I am not going to share because... EWWWWWW!!!

Still, I have to say, the Dexilant has changed my life, and I'm grateful. It's worth the hassle I've been through over the last two months. Seriously.

And I have some... pretty incredible news. Yesterday, for the very first time ever. EVER. The Impossible Son got a 100 on a math quiz.

*pauses to let you all absorb that*

Yes, you read that right. He got a 100 on a MATH QUIZ!!! HUZZAH!!!!!! *does cartwheels*

First, he has a pretty awesome math teacher. Second, because our district has not met "Adequate Yearly Progress" (AYP) in math and reading (among other requirements that haven't been met) my son's class is required to take an extra class that is basically a tutorial class in math and reading. Which is awesome because Mr. Impossible is finally getting the instruction in all the stuff he was supposed to have learned in elementary, and they've finally stopped teaching the stupid "strategies" that were actually hampering his ability to learn math. I'm sorry, but teaching kids the "shortcuts" in how to do certain math functions before you teach them to do it the "long way" is... well... STUPID.

And over at the high school, the district has all of a sudden come to the horrifying realization that, "OMG, our students have no clue when it comes to writing! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???"

*makes a rude noise*

I'll tell you how it happened, you idiots. It happened because you were teaching the kids how to take a stupid standardized test for the last ten years, and you skipped over some very vital bits of instruction, and gave them the bare minimum it took for them to be able to write a little essay for the test. Woopie. Ding. Dong. And now, now that things have changed, that when you realized, hey, wait a minute... they don't know anything.

The Impertinent Daughter's class is the last who will take the TAKS, and only now is the district changing the curriculum and actually requiring them to know how to write. So over the last two weeks, Miss Impertinent has been literally sitting at the table, staring at her notes, her head spinning as she contemplates complex sentences and structure, compound words, predicate nominatives, superlatives, and all those wonderful parts of speech that my generation was learning in second grade, and that hasn't been taught in our schools in, what... fifteen years??? And all of a sudden, they're supposed to know it? Heh... I know my kid isn't the only one sitting in her chair, looking hopelessly lost while swathed in a paper cocoon of notes!!

So far, that's all I got. But... that's enough, don't you think?

Oh... and I'm contemplating the arrival of... 49. And gave the Blonde Sister heart failure when I pointed out that next year, I'll be contemplating 50.

Awesome.

I am TIRED, and I can tell you that I have done absolutely nothing to get that way. Except, you know... breathe. Or try to, at least.

And my mother yelled at me. Twice. TWICE!! Yesterday, and today!! Let me tell you something, my mother may be 84 years old and getting a bit dithery, but the woman can still verbally dress you down like a six year old caught with a hand in the cookie jar!! Oy!!

She ripped me a new one yesterday for not wearing a face mask when I went out to pick up the kids from school, "I know you hate wearing them, Auntie, I know you don't like them, but you can't afford to get sick! Not with the crap insurance you have now!! You put that mask on, young lady, or I'll come up there and make you wish you had!!"

Then she called me late this morning: "Do you have a face mask? Do you have it nearby? Do you have your inhaler?? Do you have your nebulizer and meds ready? What? You don't have medicine for your nebulizer? Auntie. WHY DON'T YOU HAVE MEDICINE FOR YOUR NEBULIZER???"

"Um... b-because we have crap insurance?" I ventured tentatively.

It's a good thing we were on the phone, because I'm pretty sure she would have been hitting me with it. In fact, I'm fairly certain she was reenacting that scene from "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood" where the mother and the daughter hang up on each other and start banging the phone receivers against the furniture.



I know, it frustrates her greatly, and I know she's worried. I mean, she actually threatened to come up here and take care of me!!

I made sure, when it was time to pick the Impossible Son up, that I texted the Flaky Sister with, "Tell Mom I have my filter mask on," and I sent her a photo as proof.

And yeah, I hate wearing them, though I do admit the necessity, especially now. When I was first diagnosed with asthma twenty years ago, I had to wear the damn things every time I wanted to go outside, because I was that sick. I had just recovered from a nearly fatal bout of pneumonia, and I was basically allergic to the planet. I hated the mask because of the assumptions people made. Didn't help that I had lost a great deal of weight, too. *sighs*

Anyhow, I wore my mask, and... yeah, didn't help much. Because the smoke is everywhere. And so is the ash. Very, very, very fine particles. You see it as a faint haze in the air, and you taste it as a bitter tang at the back of your throat. My inhaler? Yeah, not helping.

I am keeping my fingers crossed and hoping like anything they get that fire put out! Because seriously, nearly 800 houses destroyed?? Way to go, Governor Good-Hair!! Still thinking that cutting the state volunteer fire department budget by 75 percent was a good Idea?? NOW I know why he wanted everyone to pray for rain! With all the cuts, the only hope of putting out these damn fires would be a rainstorm!!

I swear, if any of you, ANY of you vote for that man, I will hunt you down and make you wear extremely lurid and hideous crocheted accessories for the next five years!! And eat zucchini. Lots and lots of zucchini!! WITHOUT SALT!!

It's been a very interesting weekend.

First of all... our air conditioner stopped working. There we were, the Husbandly One and I, sitting in our bedroom chatting when... the fan sitting on a nearby crate just... stopped. I looked up at the ceiling fan and... it was still going. Never slowed down, just... kept going. Concerned that the elderly fan had at last gasped out its last wheeze, THO turned it off, and that's when we noticed that the clock was no longer working. And the computer wasn't asleep, it was off.

But... the light in the kitchen was still on.

THO thought it was a bad circuit breaker, because when we turned it back on, and turned stuff in the bedroom back on... it promptly shut off again. So, we called an electrician, but THO was suspicious that it might be something more and after investigating the A/C, he realized it wasn't working, wouldn't come on, nothing.

It was the A/C that was broken.

This was on Sunday.

Did I mention we're in the middle of a triple digit heatwave?

So, the electrician didn't call us back, but that turned out to be a good thing. We didn't need an electrician; we needed an A/C repair guy.

Who couldn't come out until Monday morning.

So, we had a very hot night. THO went and bought extra fans, I had the kids taking cool showers before bed, and we were all restless and hot. I opened all the windows, but since Muta and Calcifer have discovered they can bust out the screens to get outside, I could only open them about three inches. Still, with the ceiling fans and the box fans, it was a bearable 84 degrees (28 C) in the house by about midnight.

One odd thing we all noticed by the next day. My cough had disappeared.

I have asthma, as you all know. And it's been getting worse and worse. I've had pneumonia three times since we moved to this house, mostly over the summer. We had already noticed that when we're not using the central air or heating, my asthma calms down, but when we start using it again, it flares back up. We had suspected mold and such in the ductwork perhaps was causing my problems. And this seemed to confirm it.

Well, the A/C guys arrived as promised and found that the fan motor had burned out, as well as a capacitor thingummy, so, they replaced all of that, cleaned it all out, added freon, and started it up again. I waited for my asthma to start flaring up again... and it didn't.

It still hasn't.

Funny thing is, over the last two years or so, I've been noticing this... smell, every time our system would come on. It was almost, but not quite, like smoke, and it would burn the back of my throat, and then, the Asthma Monster would start acting up. But... nobody else could really smell it. Well, the Impertinent One could, but it didn't bother her like it did me.

That smell is totally gone.

So, something good came of it after all. And I am very happy about that, indeed!

See, here's one of the things I hate about having asthma (like there's not ten million, six hundred forty two thousand, three hundred and fifty one other reasons to hate having asthma).

I'm sitting up late. Why am I sitting up late? Because I used my albuterol inhaler about an hour and a half ago.

*grumble grumble*

Why is this a problem? Well, because that albuterol, the main ingredient in my inhaler, makes me shake like a vibrator on steroids. It's like... inhaling adrenalin, I swear. My heart is pumping, my nerves are just wired up so high, and it's like I'm having this huge adrenalin rush... and nothing to do with it. Except sit here and grumble with you guys.

And it makes me cranky. Did I mention it makes me cranky? And I'm tired and I'm SLEEPY, fer gossakes!! Just let me pass out already!! *throws a hissy-fit*

Oh, yeah, and I'm cranky. Just thought I'd mention that.

If it were daylight, I could at least entertain myself by getting out the watercolors and trying to paint a straight line in different colors. Instant Impressionistic Art! WOO!!

Yep. Still cranky.

Perhaps I'll go to bed anyway and see how long it takes the Husbandly One to wake up and start complaining that I've put too many quarters in the Magic Fingers bed, because it won't stop vibrating!!

So, I finally had enough yesterday and called the doctor, making an appointment. I was a little tired of the up and down, I feel great one day, feel lousy the next roller coaster, you know? I felt great while it was raining, because all the pollens and molds were down. Molds are still down but two of my big Achille's heels where tree pollens are concerned are exploding right now, and Auntie is one miserable little ball of woe.

So, the PA listened to my lungs, which are mostly clear except for a suspicious little rattle in the left, so... I'm on antibiotics. And I got a steroid shot. Why? Well, I've had pneumonia more times in the last three years than I've ever had in my life and you know, I just don't want to go there again, if I can prevent it!

And yes, I had my pneumonia vaccination last year. They last five years.

Didn't stop me from getting it again. Besides, the shot only prevents the bacterial kind of pneumonia, not the viral.

Anyhow, I've had my steroid shot (which I hate, by the way, but not as much as I hate the Medrol pack!), and should be perking up today. This would be good, because the kitchen needs some serious excavating cleaning.

I am also considering cutting my hair very, very short. Why, you ask? Well... it's very thin, and very straight now, and... driving me up the proverbial wall. It's so fine now (because all the curly hair is gone) that it flies up constantly, and on dry days, it's alive with static, clinging to everything and it makes my face ITCH!!

And y'all, it is a sad, sad day when you look down to pet your cat and instead of the cat's hair sticking to YOU... you find YOUR hair... sticking to your CAT!!

Yes, I know, poetic justice and all, and Yuki looked mightily affronted about it. Still, there it is, and the only thing that has kept me from having it all cut off are the Husbandly One's hurt looks whenever I mention it. He likes it when I have long hair. And I admit, I like being able to braid it and get it out of the way. But... long hair only works when it STAYS ATTACHED TO YOUR HEAD!!

So... I'm thinking about it. But if y'all hear a man's pathetic wail from down our way, y'all will know Auntie went and cut it all off.

... we'll see.

Someone's apparently been whacking me in the chest and back with baseball bats while I wasn't looking. Breathing is still vastly over-rated. Itching sucks big dogs. And I can't find my left black flip-flop.

The GOOD news is... the Impossible Son got 100's on his last two math tests!!! WOOT!!

I have now used my my ten seconds of energy. Back to bed for Auntie. Yay whoopie yay.

I'm still alive, as some of you know from random comments I've made. I'm just not enjoying it much at the moment.

Let's just say albuterol is teh suck, and someone should do me a favor and cut down every single oak, ash, and elm tree in the country.

Can I shake any harder?

And I missed a friend's birthday. I apologize profusely, karadin, and as soon as I can take a deep breath without passing out, I will ... do something. Because really, you are most special to me.

Now I'm going back to bed.

Dear Asthma Monster,

Go away. Now. Take your pointy little head and put it back under your rock or whatever. I have no time for you right now.

Oh, and give my voice back. Or else.

I have albuterol... push me and I'll use it, man! Back away slowly, and you won't get hurt. Much.

No love,

Auntie

Whew! Got my rontoberfest finished up and sent off, what a RELIEF!!

Talked to my mom. Dad is going to be in the hospital for a while, but he's doing much better. He has pneumonia, but from the sounds in the background as I talked to her, is as feisty and mischievous as ever.

I've been under the weather myself. As I mentioned, the Asthma Monster has made a reappearance, and I've been Auntie the Human Slug since Sunday. And yesterday, Miss Priss woke up with a fever, head and chest congestion, and a very, very sore throat.

We went to the doctor today, both of us, and I told the doctor's PA about our activities on Saturday. She sighed, and said, "Well, you're not alone. We've had people in since Monday, all of them folks who went in to Houston over the weekend, and all of them are coughing, with low-grade fevers, and body aches... all of that. We're kind of jokingly calling it the Ike Flu."

Wow. But then not that surprising, really, considering the mold spore counts are off the scale in Houston, and there's rotting vegetation, garbage, backed up waterlines, water damaged houses and buildings, dead animals, etc... I got scolded for not wearing a mask outside, and all I could say was, "I didn't even think about it!"

The Impertinent Daughter got swabbed for strep (yes, Steve, the Strep Bug was looming over us with glee), but she was also sent for a mono panel, because looking at her throat, and listening to her symptoms, especially her fatigue, the PA is concerned Miss Priss may have mononucleosis. Great. I missed from Thanksgiving to well after New Year's my sophomore year because of mono. I certainly hope she doesn't have it! And yes, I've already let my mom know so she can tell the docs that Dad has possibly been exposed to it. We should know by tomorrow.

Her throat looks... awful. *shudders* I think perhaps I'll avoid looking at it, and just keep making warm salt water gargles for her.

As for me, my lungs sound clear (which is a relief) but the constant low grade fever is a concern so... I'm on an antibiotic, and a mucus thinner to make breathing a bit easier. Plus, I've also gotten a steroid shot. To tell you the truth, I'd rather get the shot than have to take one of those 6 day packs. I actually end up feeling worse after that!

So, I will trundle off to bed to read for now, maybe Inkheart or the newspaper... whichever I find first.

Okay, Alex, you can stop fussing at me.

I went to the doctor today. And I was checked out, poked, prodded, listened to, had to breathe into this doohickey that made me feel like my lungs were turning themselves inside out, and little stars appear in front of my eyes.

The good news is, my lungs are clear.

*and the people were glad*

You know, the sad thing is, I don't have typical asthma. I don't wheeze. I cough. And I have a higher than normal peak flow meter reading for a woman my age (it's consistently 450, when it should be 300, for those who know about such things). AND I've had vocal training AND I was a competitive swimmer. So... I know how to breathe deeply and effectively, and how to empty my lungs.

This makes assessing me when my asthma is flaring up very difficult for doctors. Because I can breathe deeply, and empty my lungs. However, the doc looked at me and said, "I can tell you aren't doing too well, in spite of how good these tests look, because your lips are pale, your nailbeds are pale and slightly bluish, and you just don't look happy."

Believe me, I wasn't. So, I've had a steroid shot to help deal with the particulates that are making me miserable (they are still working on the roads here, and the winter/spring wheat is being harvested), and I go back on Wednesday to see if I've improved, and to decide if I need to go on a stronger maintenance medication than Singulair.

This while we wait for an appointment with a dermatologist for the Impertinent One, because she's got a mole on one arm that is two different colors, is itching, and has changed shape. *sigh* If it's not one thing, it's another!

I'm going to bed. Maybe when I wake up in the morning, I'll find this was all a dream!

Nah... didn't think so. Oh well, I tried!