Gonna be a bear....

My dad sent this a while back, and I've been meaning to post it, but... well... until today, it wasn't relevant.   I have been a grumpy, snarly bear today.  I'm on the Hormone Highway, and though my mate has shoved chocolate at me at regular intervals, the effects haven't lasted long enough, and I'm just plain snarly.  To make things more difficult,  Hermione and Blaise are sitting in opposite corners, glowering at each other and refusing to cooperate, so I'm having a difficult time with part seven.  (sigh)  And I have a huge pile of data-entry to complete, and it's just been a grumbly, snarly, extremely grouchy, leave me alone and don't even think of touching me sort of day.  So when I rediscovered this humorous piece my dad sent me, I figured it was now relevant and entirely appropriate.  Excuse me while I retreat into my cave and curl up in the corner, snarling and growling!

Gonna Be A Bear

 

In this life, I’m a woman.  In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear. When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate.  You do nothing but sleep for six months.  I could deal with that. 

 

Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid.  I could deal with that, too.

 

When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs.  I could definitely deal with that.

 

If you’re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.  You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.  If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too.  I could deal with that. 

 

If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.  He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

 

Yup, gonna be a bear!