Little things...

You know, if there was only one thing I could change from our move to this new (to us) house, it would be that I would label all our boxes front, back, sides, bottom, and tops. Why? Because I CAN'T FIND MY FRIGGIN' CLOTHES!!! I labled top, side, and end of each box. There is a stack of boxes in my closet. Are any of the labled parts visible?? NO!!!!! (shriek!)

I've lost weight, not intentionally (a persistent fever will do that to you) and therefore, my clothes don't fit. What has been unpacked thus far is either too big, or too tight. None of the in-between or adjustable clothes are unpacked (of course!). So, I'm left with either wearing jeans that are baggy and hang off my bottom like yesterday's washing, or so tight that they look, in the Husbandly One's words, spray-painted on. At this point in time, this is NOT a good thing. (shut up, Alex!)

And where the hell did all these flowered shirts come from?? I have no memory of buying these things, and all I can think of is either they time-warped here, my husband bought them on the sly (which he would never do. He runs more to buying me ugly Hawaiian shirts, just for fun)or my mother smuggled them in somehow. I doubt the latter, because unlike me, my mother is brilliant at buying clothes. I am brilliant at buying clothes for everyone ... but me. I HATE shopping, with a passion, when it's for me. I cannot be trusted to shop for myself. I know what colors to avoid at all costs, but, beyond that, I'm hopeless. And I am a grumpy, snarly bear when shopping for me. Completely anti-social. I shouldn't be allowed in stores with other people in them.

All I wanna do is find some pants that either don't fall off when I take two steps, or cause me to turn blue when I sit down!!! Forget shorts! I could hide a platoon of Marines in my shorts (was I really that big, and shut up, Alex!) so, no I won't be wearing them.

Where are the track pants when you really need them?? Though with my luck, by the time I find them, they'll be too big, too.

On the good side, I found this really pretty blue dress I haven't been able to wear in yonks, and it fits well now. The Husbandly One will be pleased, since he bought it for me and well... it has pleasant associations. The Impertinent Daughter loves it, too, and has said, "I like that dress on you, Mama. It looks like rain."

Oh well, SHE knows what she's talking about, even if the rest of us don't, and she looked so pleased, I didn't have the nerve to ask if it meant I looked wet! I think she just meant the color reminded her of rain.

Oh well, I'm going to dig through the closet some more and see if I can't turn some of those boxes around. For some reason, I keep hearing that line from "When Harry Met Sally" in my head. "Desperately WANT to talk, but trapped under something heavy and can't get to the phone..."

Yes, I'll be careful!!

Track pants... track pants... just find my gosh-darned track pants...

PS. Alex, you can talk now! (laughs merrily)

Things that make you go "EEEEK!!!"

Okay, should I regard it as coincidence that FIVE funeral homes have called today to offer me a burial plan?? FIVE!!!

I did a Very Brave Thing. We have these critters outside called Texas Spiny Lizards. I appreciate them, and am very glad to see them, as they eat the bugs that like to eat my garden. Not that it's much of a garden right now. It looks more like... hay. Anyhow, as I was walking out the door to go pick up the kids, a 6 to 8 inch specimen of the breed ran across my foot and into the house, making me yelp and jump back. "AAACK!" I shouted. "You can't be in the house! No!! Out, out!!" Like it was gonna listen to me!

With visions of mangled lizard in my head, I pursued it, pulling out the couch and chasing it until finally I had it cornered and came to a sudden realization. I was going to have to pick it up.

Eeep.

Okay, normally, I have no problem picking critters up, unless they're poisonous. And even then, I will figure out a way to get it out of the house or wherever without touching it. However, none of those methods were going to work with this guy, and I stood there, bracing myself for the inevitable. I got rushed when Ed came in and saw it, saw me standing there, nearly panicking, and he went into Hunting Mode. Oh dear. That made up my mind and I scooped up the lizard, who started HISSING at me, and flailing and great galloping hornytoads!! Those spines are SHARP!!

No, I didn't throw him out the door, though I was tempted to. No, I bit my lip, and carried him to the bushes where it was cool and damp, and let him go, then grabbed my pack and left to get the kids. And no, my hands were just fine, just a bit scratched, but fine.

Oh my stars and garters, I picked up a baby dinosaur!!! EEEEK!!!

Too bad the kids weren't there to see it!