Bang Shang-a-lang!

I haven't been present much online lately, except for the odd comment here and there.  It's not because of any of the drama so much as just that I've been tired, and I'm dealing with another Headache From Hell.  

Reading labels on our food has become second nature to me, because my migraines mostly come from food-related triggers.  Anything with MSG, anything with sodium nitrates... there's a whole host of stuff I can't have.  Well, I COULD have them, if I was willing to medicate myself into oblivion, but Auntie isn't a very happy person that way.  Besides, I can't handle most of the prescriptions for migraines, either because of weird interactions with my asthma meds, or because they make my heart do strange things.  Like, "Okay, my headache's gone, but... I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK!! AAAAAAHHHH!!!"

So, anyway, the current banging in my head is thanks to the Impertinent Daughter's recent bout with strep.  Yes, Stephen the Strep bug made a little visit to our house.  Thankfully, only affecting the Daughterly One, and not anyone else *Auntie knocks frantically on wood*  So, there she was with massive tonsils, a sore throat, hungry, but unable to eat because... her throat hurt, or it didn't taste right, yada, yada, yada...

*rolling of eyes*

So, I made her some Lipton Cup-A-Soup.  Only, the only Cup-A-Soup our local grocery store carries has to be made in mass quantities.  Not one little cup, no, no, no, you see, THAT would MAKE SENSE.  CUP of soup.  One cup.  ONE.  *grrrrrrrrrrr....*  But no, THIS one has to be made FOUR FRIGGIN' CUPS AT A TIME!!!

*pant, pant, pant*

So, I made it.  Poured out a cup for her.  She took... three swallows, and passed out.  I was left with three cups of soup in the pot.  And no, you can't put this stuff in the fridge for later.  You want to know why?  Because the noodles SWELL!  Yes!  They swell to the approximate size and appearance of yellow slugs.  SLUGS!!  And they're slimy and gross and even the Impossible Son runs away from them in horror.  It's... sickening!  

Well, I was hungry, and I was about to make a bit of lunch for myself, and I looked at the soup, and I thought, fine, I'LL eat it.  I don't normally eat the stuff I make for my kids that they don't eat.  I save it for later, or throw it out.  Why?  Because that way lies the path of massive weight gain.  I watched both of my sisters do that.  I learn from observation.  No, thank you.

Anyhow, I managed about half a cup myself, decided it was too vile for words, and dumped the rest.  Later that night, I was literally mid-conversation with the Husbandly One, when someone slammed a rail-road spike through my right eye.  Yay.  When I could actually see, and be coherent, the Husbandly One and I sat and tried to figure out what triggered it this time.  And after going through everything I'd eaten and done that day, he went in the kitchen and grabbed the box of the instant soup.  Hello, they started adding MSG again.  So, the Soup of the Slugs of Death will no longer be making an appearance in our pantry.  Yay whoopee yay.

Now if I can just get the drunk elephant in the stiletto heels to stop dancing on my head, everything would be peachy keen and hunky dory.

Oh, and you know what?  Having some bimbette phone solicitor call from somewhere up north  and say, when she hears my voice, "Oh, your accent is just DARLING!!  You just sound so SOUTHERN and SWEET!!  Would you please say y'all again?" did not exactly put me in the best of moods.

No, I didn't buy whatever it was she was selling.  I snarled, "No thank you, Y'ALL!!" and hung up the damn phone.

No, Auntie is not in a good, sweet, and Southern belle kind of mood right now.  She's more in a snarling, tearing, Texas wild-cat kind of mood right now.

*slinks off into corner, growling and hissing*