Ahem...

How do I love thee?  

Oh, let me count the ways...

I love thee for the books you buy me, books that no sane husband would buy for their wife, but you defy convention and buy them for me, because you know me so well...

I love thee for the fact that for my 29th birthday... you bought me a computer.  And the happy, surprised look you got on your face when I hit my knees to show you how much I appreciated it...

I love thee for truly awful puns you toss out that make me want to rip my brain out and stomp on it to relieve the pain, and how I have to "out-pun" you to shut you up...

I love thee for the way you mince around the playscape when you're playing with the kids, pretending you can't run fast enough to get away, and then surprise them when you turn and sweep them up in your arms to dump them in a pile of sand or leaves.

I love thee for not protesting when I refuse to play cut-throat Monopoly with you and the kids.  And for the truly ridiculous scenarios you come up with when we're playing Pickle.

I love thee for not complaining when I shove my icy cold feet under your thigh to warm them up when we're sitting on the couch together, even though I can see you want to scream and hit the ceiling to escape them.

I love thee for getting me truly awful birthday presents, like the severed finger necklace, and the Ubangi warrior earrings you got me six years ago that turned my ear lobes green.

I love thee for understanding me and my intimate relationship with, and hopeless addiction to chocolate.  Thank you for dropping everything to find some when I get a Chocolate Jones.  Because the world as we know it would end if Auntie didn't get her chocolate!!

I love thee for accidentally putting on my jeans and wandering around the house, completely mystified as to why your jeans were suddenly too long. (my legs are longer than his, even though he's taller than me)

I love thee for making that sinfully delicious pumpkin cream pie... and then saving the last piece for me, hiding it from the kids so you could be sure I got it.

And finally, I love you because you get me, you know me, everything good and bad, and you still love me anyway.

Just thought I should tell you.

Love,

The Wifely One

a.k.a. Auntie

O_o!!

My son has the ultimate faith in my ability to cook.

Ever seen the movie "Spirited Away?"  There's a scene where the main character, Chehiro, is sitting on a balcony with her friend, Ren, and they're eating these hand pastries stuffed with meat or something.  I have no idea what they are called, but you know, just about every society has some sort of meat-roll or pastry that can be held in the hand.

Anyway, the Impossible Son came in here and asked me if I remembered those things.  Took me a minute (between coughs), and I said, "Okay, yes, I remember them."

"They look really good, huh?"

I have learned to be cautious.  "Ye-e-es," I said slowly.  

"Could you make those for me?"

*blink blink*

"Right now?"

"Yeah!" he said with great enthusiasm, his head bobbing as he smiled at me, full of confidence that Mama Can Do It.  After all, I brought kittens back from frozen death, what's a few Japanese meat rolls, right?

"Er... well, hunnybunny, um... for one thing, I'd need a recipe..."

"Great!  I'll get your cook book!" And he was off to the kitchen.

I do not have a Japanese cook book.  Yet.  And I knew the book he was heading for, which admittedly (and surprisingly) has a few Japanese recipes in it, but... um... not what he's looking for.  It's a Fanny Merritt Farmer Boston Cooking School cookbook that I lucked into at a Half-Price Books in Houston, published somewhere in the 50's with all these references to the original publication in the 18 70's or such.  Great book.  One of the luckiest finds I could ever make, because it fell open at certain pages and had foodstains on it... meaning, it was used a LOT.  In other words, a family treasure that some thoughtless person had tossed into a box to be sold without realizing what it was.  Oh, well, their loss is my gain!  

Anyhow, Mr. Manzie comes trundling back with that book in his hands, beaming with confidence, and I'm just... stumped.  "Here, Mama!  You can make it now, right?"

How on earth did I ever produce this person??

Flailing mentally, I said, "Well, there's still the problem of ingredients, and you know me, Little Man, I like to sort of study over a recipe for a few days before I decide to give it a whirl."

"Oh," he said, nodding wisely.  "You want to fiddle with it."

He knows me so well!

"We'll see.  Let me do some research on the Internet and see what I can come up with."

So... I've bought myself some time, but... if anybody out there knows what the hell those things are, and how to make them, please, please, PLEASE give me a clue!!  Knowing Mr. Manzie, he'll pop up in three days... "So, Mama, you ready to make those things yet?"

Ay-yi-yi!!!

HELP!!!