Because sitting on them would only muffle the noise...

Dear Mom,

I just wanted to apologize for being the kind of kid who asked rapid-fire questions almost non-stop, the kind of questions that make a parent stop and go, "Wait, WHAT??" and promptly have an accident in the middle of an intersection.

The fact that Dad never did is either testament to y'all's patience, your skills at distracting me, or his awesomely fast reflexes or superior driving skills.

I haven't either, and I'm not sure why. But I can tell you this...

I now know why female animals sometimes eat their young.

So, I just wanted to say, Mom, I'm sorry, and thank you so much for allowing me to survive long enough to become an adult.

losing her patience one question at a time,

Auntie