"Math, science, history, unravelling the mysteries..."
Monday, December 13th, 2010 11:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
auntbijouSoooooo... I had a conference today with the Impossible Son's main teacher, Mrs. G., and his math teacher, Ms. H.
Yes, they're still alive and the hair has not been singed off their heads.
*sigh*
I'll admit, I was in a rather feisty mood and loaded for bear. However, I haven't had a chance to speak to Mrs. G. beyond some emails, which is rather unusual, because I try to get to know my kids' teachers, if only to figure out how much "home-schooling" I'll be doing and in what subjects!
The first thing I learned when I arrived was that Mrs. G. expected me to be a no-show. I blinked then said, "I always call and email when I can't make a meeting, Mrs. G."
"Well, as a matter of fact, you do," she said, and looked rather taken aback. "Most of the parents I meet with, when I meet with them, don't."
I just nodded, and we sat down with Ms. H. to start talking about Mr. Impossible's math problems, and a few other issues.
We cleared up a few things. Like the reason Mr. Impossible doesn't like showing his work. It's not that he doesn't want to, it's that he doesn't see the necessity for it, since he's already done it in his head. "Why should I have to do it twice?" he asked me grumpily.
"Because the teacher needs to see your thought process, especially when you get it wrong because you rushed through it," I said crankily.
This also allowed me to tell Ms. H. that the reason he sometimes rushes through a test, or classwork and turns it in with either all the wrong answers or no answers at all is because he's frustrated, he wants to get it over with as soon as possible, and gives it to her in the mistaken belief that this will make her happy and she'll leave him alone. In other words... he's frustrated.
I'm very familiar with this tactic. My dad used it all the friggin' time! However, unlike my dad's family, I don't let the Impossible Son get away with it.
Neither will Ms. H., now that she knows.
We cleared up a few problems with Mrs. G. as well, and addressed... the Bully Problem.
*sigh*
Yes, once again, there is a bully problem, but this one is a doozy. I can guarantee that at least three fourths of you are going to be absolutely furious, so I'll advise you to move all liquids, or breakable objects far away from your computer before you proceed.
Tum-te-tum-te-tum... hmmm-hmmm-hmmmm... dooty-doo-doodle-dee-doooo....
Done?
Okay. This particular bully is the nephew of one of the P.E. teachers and was functioning under the mistaken belief that this gave him complete immunity, a fact he rather gleefully passed on to his victims on a regular basis.
And he's learned not to use his fists on the Impossible One, because Mama gave him the second installment of her "Major Points of Vulnerability on the Human Body - Elementary School Edition" in the backyard. Nothing discourages a bully like a quick elbow to the solar plexus! Hard to chase a kid when you're laying out flat, puking your guts out. Yeah, the Husbandly One and I basically gave Impossible permission to Do Unto Others, Do It Like You Mean It And Knock The Snot Out Of Them. This would, at the very least, get the teacher's attention and warrant a phone call to us, where either I or THO would set them straight... or threaten to file charges.
So... this bully started using his words.
He called the Impossible Son gay.
"Your shorts are too short, they make you look gay! Only a faggot would wear shorts like those!"
"You're so skinny, just like a queer!" "Only a gay faggot would wear those colors!" "You're such a homo, dancing around like that!"
I pretty much hit my limit when the teacher was at the door, taking up books from students coming into the classroom, and the bully took advantage of her distraction to hump Impossible's desk before grabbing his own crotch suggestively while chanting, "Suck it, suck it," to him.
Yeah, the teacher was appalled when I told her this. Aren't they always?
However... the Impossible Son wasn't his only victim, and he was caught yesterday taunting another student about being, "gay." He's hit the zero tolerance policy and apparently one more infraction will get him suspended.
*makes a rude noise*
Being the generous, sweet person that I am, I said, "Is it possible that he has no idea what it means? That he's just repeating something he's heard with the idea that it's funny, or trying to impress someone?"
"Oh, no," said Mrs. G. with a look at Ms. H. "He knows exactly what it means. I asked him what it meant, and he told me and I was rather surprised, but... he knew what he was doing."
I just nodded.
"You look skeptical, Auntie," said Ms. H. "Why?"
"Let's just say I've heard this all before. And frankly, I think the three day suspension, if the parents aren't on board with this, amounts to little more than just a three day vacation." I shook my head. "He's knows what he was doing was wrong, you're right. I just wanted to see if you realized that."
Mrs. G. nodded and then said, "There are... issues... at home, and that is contributing to what the bully is doing here at school." Then she said something that actually gave me some hope and made me want to cheer. "It's a reason, though. Not an excuse."
FINALLY!!
Anyhow, they assured me that they would be informing the counselor of what I'd told them (I'm going to email her again, just because), and that they'd keep an extra eye out for my son, too. And I made sure they understood that if this didn't stop, we'd be filing charges.
Then the bully walked into the classroom with another boy, and I got a huge shock, and a... rather bizarre insight.
Guys, this kid has a LOT of nerve calling MY son gay... considering he was wearing a bright PINK flannel shirt!!
He was big, rather burly for a fourth grader, had two very small blue eyes set too close together in his face, and... the bright pink flannel shirt. Hello, denial much? Trying to divert attention a bit there, dude?
You know, whether or not the Impossible Son is gay is no one's business but his. I will love him just the same, no matter what. He's my son. That's all that matters.
So, the teachers and I have set up a system of communication involving emails, his agenda (a notebook the kids write their assignments in) and phone calls, all to keep the Impossible Son on track with his school work, and to keep him safe. Period. I wish his second grade and third grade teachers had been this willing to work with me.
I dread junior high for Mr. Impossible in a way I didn't with the Impertinent One. Hmmmm... wonder if I can find a Krav Maga class for him. Or kung fu. No, Krav Maga would be better, I think. It's dirty fighting for survival.
*head-desk*
This is the part of parenting that gives me grey hairs, I swear!
Yes, they're still alive and the hair has not been singed off their heads.
*sigh*
I'll admit, I was in a rather feisty mood and loaded for bear. However, I haven't had a chance to speak to Mrs. G. beyond some emails, which is rather unusual, because I try to get to know my kids' teachers, if only to figure out how much "home-schooling" I'll be doing and in what subjects!
The first thing I learned when I arrived was that Mrs. G. expected me to be a no-show. I blinked then said, "I always call and email when I can't make a meeting, Mrs. G."
"Well, as a matter of fact, you do," she said, and looked rather taken aback. "Most of the parents I meet with, when I meet with them, don't."
I just nodded, and we sat down with Ms. H. to start talking about Mr. Impossible's math problems, and a few other issues.
We cleared up a few things. Like the reason Mr. Impossible doesn't like showing his work. It's not that he doesn't want to, it's that he doesn't see the necessity for it, since he's already done it in his head. "Why should I have to do it twice?" he asked me grumpily.
"Because the teacher needs to see your thought process, especially when you get it wrong because you rushed through it," I said crankily.
This also allowed me to tell Ms. H. that the reason he sometimes rushes through a test, or classwork and turns it in with either all the wrong answers or no answers at all is because he's frustrated, he wants to get it over with as soon as possible, and gives it to her in the mistaken belief that this will make her happy and she'll leave him alone. In other words... he's frustrated.
I'm very familiar with this tactic. My dad used it all the friggin' time! However, unlike my dad's family, I don't let the Impossible Son get away with it.
Neither will Ms. H., now that she knows.
We cleared up a few problems with Mrs. G. as well, and addressed... the Bully Problem.
*sigh*
Yes, once again, there is a bully problem, but this one is a doozy. I can guarantee that at least three fourths of you are going to be absolutely furious, so I'll advise you to move all liquids, or breakable objects far away from your computer before you proceed.
Tum-te-tum-te-tum... hmmm-hmmm-hmmmm... dooty-doo-doodle-dee-doooo....
Done?
Okay. This particular bully is the nephew of one of the P.E. teachers and was functioning under the mistaken belief that this gave him complete immunity, a fact he rather gleefully passed on to his victims on a regular basis.
And he's learned not to use his fists on the Impossible One, because Mama gave him the second installment of her "Major Points of Vulnerability on the Human Body - Elementary School Edition" in the backyard. Nothing discourages a bully like a quick elbow to the solar plexus! Hard to chase a kid when you're laying out flat, puking your guts out. Yeah, the Husbandly One and I basically gave Impossible permission to Do Unto Others, Do It Like You Mean It And Knock The Snot Out Of Them. This would, at the very least, get the teacher's attention and warrant a phone call to us, where either I or THO would set them straight... or threaten to file charges.
So... this bully started using his words.
He called the Impossible Son gay.
"Your shorts are too short, they make you look gay! Only a faggot would wear shorts like those!"
"You're so skinny, just like a queer!" "Only a gay faggot would wear those colors!" "You're such a homo, dancing around like that!"
I pretty much hit my limit when the teacher was at the door, taking up books from students coming into the classroom, and the bully took advantage of her distraction to hump Impossible's desk before grabbing his own crotch suggestively while chanting, "Suck it, suck it," to him.
Yeah, the teacher was appalled when I told her this. Aren't they always?
However... the Impossible Son wasn't his only victim, and he was caught yesterday taunting another student about being, "gay." He's hit the zero tolerance policy and apparently one more infraction will get him suspended.
*makes a rude noise*
Being the generous, sweet person that I am, I said, "Is it possible that he has no idea what it means? That he's just repeating something he's heard with the idea that it's funny, or trying to impress someone?"
"Oh, no," said Mrs. G. with a look at Ms. H. "He knows exactly what it means. I asked him what it meant, and he told me and I was rather surprised, but... he knew what he was doing."
I just nodded.
"You look skeptical, Auntie," said Ms. H. "Why?"
"Let's just say I've heard this all before. And frankly, I think the three day suspension, if the parents aren't on board with this, amounts to little more than just a three day vacation." I shook my head. "He's knows what he was doing was wrong, you're right. I just wanted to see if you realized that."
Mrs. G. nodded and then said, "There are... issues... at home, and that is contributing to what the bully is doing here at school." Then she said something that actually gave me some hope and made me want to cheer. "It's a reason, though. Not an excuse."
FINALLY!!
Anyhow, they assured me that they would be informing the counselor of what I'd told them (I'm going to email her again, just because), and that they'd keep an extra eye out for my son, too. And I made sure they understood that if this didn't stop, we'd be filing charges.
Then the bully walked into the classroom with another boy, and I got a huge shock, and a... rather bizarre insight.
Guys, this kid has a LOT of nerve calling MY son gay... considering he was wearing a bright PINK flannel shirt!!
He was big, rather burly for a fourth grader, had two very small blue eyes set too close together in his face, and... the bright pink flannel shirt. Hello, denial much? Trying to divert attention a bit there, dude?
You know, whether or not the Impossible Son is gay is no one's business but his. I will love him just the same, no matter what. He's my son. That's all that matters.
So, the teachers and I have set up a system of communication involving emails, his agenda (a notebook the kids write their assignments in) and phone calls, all to keep the Impossible Son on track with his school work, and to keep him safe. Period. I wish his second grade and third grade teachers had been this willing to work with me.
I dread junior high for Mr. Impossible in a way I didn't with the Impertinent One. Hmmmm... wonder if I can find a Krav Maga class for him. Or kung fu. No, Krav Maga would be better, I think. It's dirty fighting for survival.
*head-desk*
This is the part of parenting that gives me grey hairs, I swear!
