"When I tell you I'm falling, you tell me I'm strong..."
Wednesday, September 17th, 2008 09:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
auntbijouI've been trying to write this post for a while now. Trying to explain my previous post. And it hasn't been easy, not without making something so long and convoluted...
*sighs*
Long story short, the Practical Sister called me yesterday, and kept me on the phone for two and a half hours. She was in tears. The aftermath of the hurricane has made everything so hard, for her, for her daughter, for our parents... for everyone. Our parents are in a house with no electricity, they've had to throw out everything in the fridge and freezer because it has all spoiled. My dad is on massive doses of painkillers that don't really help, that keep him asleep for eight to ten hours, so he doesn't eat, and is losing a great deal of weight. The Practical Sister is stretched thin between taking care of her daughter and her daughter's family, and taking care of our parents. The Blonde Sister, who has electricity, cannot get to our parents because there is flooding between her and them. It would be easier for her to get to me, where I am, than for her to get to our parents, who live only 45 minutes away.
The gist of the Practical Sister's call was that she wants me to fix things. She wants me to Do Something. And I can't. I can't make the hurricane un-happen. I can't make our parents stop being stubborn and independent. I can't stop my father from dying. I can't add on to my house and take my parents in to live with me. I can't make her daughter's doctor take her off the medication for her bi-polar condition that seems to be slowly killing her by inches. I can't make the Blonde Sister be able to drive her car through a flood, and I can't force Centerpoint Energy to fix everyone's power in Houston. I can't make everything okay. Goddess knows, I wish I could.
It was an emotionally exhausting conversation. And then I had to call the Blonde Sister, just for balance. Just to get some perspective.
Fortunately, the Husbandly One called, just when I needed to hear his voice, and it helped so much, just to hear him validate my concerns, to know he was there, that it's okay that I can't fix everything. He's the best thing that ever happened to me, you know.
Still, it was a very hard day, and I'm still... reeling. I still want to crawl under something and hide. Maybe I'll elaborate more later, but for now, this is as much as I can bear to say.
*sighs*
Long story short, the Practical Sister called me yesterday, and kept me on the phone for two and a half hours. She was in tears. The aftermath of the hurricane has made everything so hard, for her, for her daughter, for our parents... for everyone. Our parents are in a house with no electricity, they've had to throw out everything in the fridge and freezer because it has all spoiled. My dad is on massive doses of painkillers that don't really help, that keep him asleep for eight to ten hours, so he doesn't eat, and is losing a great deal of weight. The Practical Sister is stretched thin between taking care of her daughter and her daughter's family, and taking care of our parents. The Blonde Sister, who has electricity, cannot get to our parents because there is flooding between her and them. It would be easier for her to get to me, where I am, than for her to get to our parents, who live only 45 minutes away.
The gist of the Practical Sister's call was that she wants me to fix things. She wants me to Do Something. And I can't. I can't make the hurricane un-happen. I can't make our parents stop being stubborn and independent. I can't stop my father from dying. I can't add on to my house and take my parents in to live with me. I can't make her daughter's doctor take her off the medication for her bi-polar condition that seems to be slowly killing her by inches. I can't make the Blonde Sister be able to drive her car through a flood, and I can't force Centerpoint Energy to fix everyone's power in Houston. I can't make everything okay. Goddess knows, I wish I could.
It was an emotionally exhausting conversation. And then I had to call the Blonde Sister, just for balance. Just to get some perspective.
Fortunately, the Husbandly One called, just when I needed to hear his voice, and it helped so much, just to hear him validate my concerns, to know he was there, that it's okay that I can't fix everything. He's the best thing that ever happened to me, you know.
Still, it was a very hard day, and I'm still... reeling. I still want to crawl under something and hide. Maybe I'll elaborate more later, but for now, this is as much as I can bear to say.
