Can we have an eye roll, please?

How my children are like cats:


1.)  They like to follow me by walking ahead of me.  It drives me nuts, because they don't know where I'm going, but... they're walking in front of me, and therefore, are between me and whatever it is I'm getting for them, be that food or art supplies.  Doesn't help that I trip over molecules, and I have long legs, so I'm constantly stepping on their heels, or nearly falling over them.  Shoot, even our CATS don't do this anymore!!

2.) They ignore me when I'm not doing anything in particular, such as sitting and staring into space, or standing while looking out the window.  But the second I start to do something, such as pick up a book to read, start to wash dishes, pick up the phone, whatever, there they are, demanding attention.  The cats will lay on whatever I'm trying to do, the book, keyboard...well... not the dishes in the sink, but you get the picture.  The kids will pop up and ask things like, "Where's the peanut butter?  Do I have clean socks?  Can you help me make a paper airplane?  Why do clouds float up in the sky?  Do we have any glycerin?  Can you make some play clay for us?  Where's the shovel?" etc, etc, ad infinitum

3.) Once they are asleep, they are hard to move.  They turn into noodle people.  You try to pick them up and they just sliiiiiide out of your arms.  They can also increase local gravity, like cats, so that they become almost impossible to pick up.  

4.) They turn up in the most unexpected places.  I've sat down on the couch, thinking I'll finally get a chance to sit down and catch my breath, only to feel little hands grab my ankles, because the Impossible Son had hidden under the couch and decided to scare me.  I've also gone to open a cabinet, or closet, only to jump back with my heart pounding wildly in my chest, because a hand suddenly popped out with whatever I was reaching for in it, because a child was standing there.  GEEZUS!!  

5.)Whenever they make a mess, they either pretend they had nothing whatsoever to do with it, or get this look on their faces like, "I meant to do that.  Just... not precisely like THAT."

6.)  Whenever there is a thunderstorm, with lots of loud, crashy thunder, my lap gets way too full.

7.)  No matter how big the bed is, they take up every single inch of available space, leaving me crammed into the last six inches next to the edge.

8.)Though they love to swim and play in water, they look very stiff, and indignant when they get unexpectedly wet.  And very offended.

9.) When they're hungry, they make a lot of really pathetic noise, and treat me like the serving wench.

10.)They can be very cuddly and sweet when they want to be, and very entertaining to watch!

And no, you don't want to know why I wrote this.  *laughs*