Things that make you go hmmmmm...

Okay, so the Impertinent Daughter's class is reading The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe.  Miss Priss is doing very well on the chapter tests, because she's only read the entire series maybe ten or eleven times or so!  So anyway, one night, she was practically in tears, and appealed to me for help.  I was washing dishes while she was working at the kitchen table, and so I dried my hands, walked up, and said, "What's wrong?"

"It's this question here," she said, clearly frustrated.  It said, "What is the name of the White Witch's chief of police?"

Well, you know guys, I am an incurable bookworm.  I'm one of those readers who gets so absorbed in a book that the entire house could fall down around me and I'd never notice, unless part of the roof knocked the book out of my hands, and then I'd probably frown, pick the book back up, and get right back to it.  Yes, I'm that bad.  And I also remember everything I read.  And I've read the Narnia series over and over again, whenever the whim takes me.  So, I did a search in my memory, and said, "Oh, Fenris Ulf.  What's the problem?  I know you know this."

This is when she started getting teary.  "Well, yeah, in this book," which was our own personal copy of the book, a much older edition printed in  1950, "it's Fenris Ulf.  But in the edition we're using in the class, it's Maughrim."

I blinked.  And I blinked again.  "Maughrim?  You're kidding, right?"

"NO!" she wailed.

This confused me, because it seems to me Maughrim was the name of a siege engine in The Simarillion, or one of the Lost Tales books by Tolkien.  Or a Wolf in Tolkien, I can't quite bring it to mind.  But I really don't associate that name with C. S. Lewis.  So I gave her the best answer I could.  "Okay, then write down what the teacher will count as correct, but bring this copy to school and show it to her and ask her what she thinks."

Turns out the teacher wasn't aware of the name change.  She thought it was Fenris Ulf, too, and if the Impertinent Daughter hadn't brought it to her attention, a lot of the kids who had never read the book before that class would have had their papers marked as incorrect.  The version they are using was published in 2001, I think, and it made me wonder... was this edition approved by whoever is protecting C. S. Lewis' interests?  And just who the heck is changing names and such in these books?  Did the same people who decided that Americans are too stupid to pick up a dictionary or do a web search to figure out what a Philosopher's Stone is think Fenris Ulf wasn't... I dunno... a wolfish enough name, and threw in Maughrim to make the wolf more...menacing??  WTF??

Just so you know, I knew what a philosopher's stone was back when I was in third grade.  Hello.  Bookworm.  

Think I have a slight beef with the publishing industry's dumbing down of books from across the sea?

I've been reading the British versions of the Harry Potter books, and you know, it's like reading a whole new book.   I'm stunned.  I think the one thing that leaped out the biggest to me, was a conversation in the third book, regarding the Grim, between Hermione and Ron.  He mentions that his Uncle Bilius saw the Grim and died, and she said in the American version, "... Harry's still with us because he's not stupid enough to see one and think, right, well, I'd better kick the bucket then!"

But... in the British version, she says, "... Harry's still with us because he's not stupid enough to see one and think, right, well, I'd better pop my clogs then!"

I never laughed so hard in my life!

There are a great many examples I could give, many of which change entire scenes, completely altering their meaning, and it drives me nuts.  I guess what I'm saying is, if someone's done this with the Narnia books, it's doing a great disservice to people who haven't read it yet.  Now I understand why my daughter keeps saying the book she's reading in class is different.  It makes me wonder about children's book publishers in this country right now.  I think next time I go to the book store, I'm going to pick up one of the "new" editions of children's book classics and skim through it to see if I can spot anything obviously different.  

*sigh*

I'm obsessing again, aren't I?

Auntie vs the Killer Psycho Bird from Hell

Okay, so there I was, minding my own business, doin' my laps around the track.  And yes, Alex, I went earlier than yesterday so I would avoid Mr. Annoyingly Oblivious Talkative Guy, and successfully missed him.  Darn, I'm sooooo disappointed (can you hear the sarcasm dripping off my voice?).

Anyway, I was doing my laps, and was into the second one, and coming up to a curve next to the highway where there is a half grown oak tree.  I had my iPod on, listening to this really good song by a group called Goldroom that I've taken a liking to when all of a sudden, something slams into my hat.  I looked up, didn't see anything, looked down, didn't see anything, so I kept moving.  It didn't hurt so much as it just startled me.  So, I'm humming along, come around for my third lap, get to the turn, and it happens again.  This time, I heard an angry squawk along with the hit.  I looked up and got a sudden understanding what an anti-aircraft gunner feels like when a plane is screaming down at him, because a mockingbird was diving at me, and I was literally staring right up into its gullet, because it had its mouth wide open, screaming a challenge at me.  No, I didn't stick around, I got busy and got moving.  As soon as I was out of range, it stopped diving at me.  This was a surprise, because I didn't think it was time to for the mockingbirds to start selecting nesting sites yet, though I dunno, maybe this bird just wants to get ahead of the others and find a really good spot.  

He or she is bound to be frustrated, because that's a public track, and lots of people use it at all hours of the day, all the way up until late evening.  

I did three more laps, and found myself hurrying around that corner, because as soon as I made the curve, that damn bird would start squawking and diving at me, pecking at me and grabbing my hair.  OUCH!!!!  The last time, it hit me so hard, I nearly star-fished on the track, and only caught myself just before I hit the gravel, managing to scramble away before it could do any damage.    

Well, I was only going to do six laps anyway.  

When I walked to my car, I saw Mr. Annoyingly Oblivious Talkative Guy stretching and getting ready for his run, and in the interests of being neighborly, I stopped by him and said, "Be careful around that far turn where the oak tree is.  There's a very defensive mockingbird there, and he's divebombing to protect his tree."

He looked up, then looked toward the tree.  "I don't see a mockingbird."

"Trust me, there's a mockingbird there." 

"I don't think it'll be a problem.  Birds are generally scared of people."

I nodded and said, "Whatever," and went to my car.  And yes, I didn't leave right away.  I stretched, drank my water, and waited.  And sure enough, when Mr. Annoying got to that corner, that bird went for him with a vengeance!!!  It could not have been any more impressive, not if that damn bird had had like... a spear and magic helmet!!  It knocked his hat off, and it sent his hair flying, and he started yelling and waving his arms over his head, crouching down, and I sat in my car and laughed myself silly.  Yes, there is divine justice in this world!

Thing is, what do I do about tomorrow?  Carry an umbrella?  A red cape?  Flamethrower?  Any suggestions, Vicki?  After all, from Mr. Killer Psycho Mockingbird's point of view, I'M the intruder.

Guess the flamethrower would get me frowned on in this town, huh?