The Impertinent Daughter strikes again!
Sunday, November 23rd, 2008 07:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
auntbijouFor shocolate, who has been very vocal about Twilight and making fun of both books and movies, I give you the Impertinent Daughter's latest creation!
Gege's Tips on "How Not to Be Eaten By Your Vampire Boyfriend"
1. NEVER let him lead you to a dark, secluded place on nighttime strolls.
2. Don't eat all the chocolates or candies he gets for you -- he's most likely trying to fatten you up.
3. Don't let him EVER suck your blood.
4. If he takes you out anywhere, always take one of those super strong floodlights with you.
5. You should always concoct your own "garlic spray" to take with you when on dates with your vampire boyfriend.
6. Try to keep on a lot of cross-shaped jewelry, or keep a cross in your purse or pocket.
7. If you find out that he's drinking animal blood instead of human blood, make sure he's not drinking the blood of an endangered species.
8. Make sure that you have a bell with you. Vampires hate the noise, and if you don't have any bells, you should get a bell-like ringtone on your cell phone.
9. If you want information on vampires, don't look it up in the Twilight books.
10. If you aren't eaten... CONGRATULATIONS!! If you are, I'm sorry, but it was doomed from the start.
shocolate, who has been very vocal about Twilight and making fun of both books and movies, I give you the Impertinent Daughter's latest creation!Gege's Tips on "How Not to Be Eaten By Your Vampire Boyfriend"
1. NEVER let him lead you to a dark, secluded place on nighttime strolls.
2. Don't eat all the chocolates or candies he gets for you -- he's most likely trying to fatten you up.
3. Don't let him EVER suck your blood.
4. If he takes you out anywhere, always take one of those super strong floodlights with you.
5. You should always concoct your own "garlic spray" to take with you when on dates with your vampire boyfriend.
6. Try to keep on a lot of cross-shaped jewelry, or keep a cross in your purse or pocket.
7. If you find out that he's drinking animal blood instead of human blood, make sure he's not drinking the blood of an endangered species.
8. Make sure that you have a bell with you. Vampires hate the noise, and if you don't have any bells, you should get a bell-like ringtone on your cell phone.
9. If you want information on vampires, don't look it up in the Twilight books.
10. If you aren't eaten... CONGRATULATIONS!! If you are, I'm sorry, but it was doomed from the start.
