Grab a chair and a couple of root beers...

The house is wonderfully quiet right now.  I'm sort of enjoying it.  The first day of school......

Ahhhh....

*closes eyes to enjoy the silence*

It's the "honeymoon" period right now.  You know, when the kids are excited and they're eager to get up and go to school, because it's all new an d shiny bright?  They're easy to get up, easy to gently direct into dressing, etc.   It's next week when things will start getting more difficult.  But for now, I'll enjoy it!

I've learned a few things.  Like don't put your cell phone in the front pocket of your jeans, most especially if it's got both a ring and vibrate ringtone.  I thought I was going to erupt out of my seat!!  I mean, there I am, driving along, and I"m driving the Husbandly One's little Aveo, so I'm already a little off-kilter, because no matter how I adjust the seat, it's never right, though when he gets his car back, he'll complain that I pushed the car seat too far back.  He's taller than me, but I have longer legs than he does.  So, I'm driving along, chatting with the Impossible Son, and notice I'm behind a friend whose kids are starting school in a new district.  I wondered briefly if I should call her, then thought, well, duh, we're heading to the same school, I'll talk to her THERE.  She pulls over, so I passed her, and was most fortunately in the parking lot when first I hear this unfamiliar chiming sound.  I thought, is that on the radio?  Then the VIBRATING started.  And I'm like, "OMG!!!  WHAT THE HELL IS IN CRAWLING INSIDE MY PANTS AND IS IT GOING TO STING ME???"

I have issues with critters that want to sting me.  I have stripped off my shirt in public because I had three yellow jackets that had crawled up my back and all started stinging me at the same time.  One in my armpit, one on my back, and one on my neck.  Somehow, the stinging, burning pain was worse than the embarrassment of being topless in the middle of the garden center.  And the Husbandly One reacted very calmly to that, taking my shirt and shaking it to make sure there were no more wasps, knocking off my little tormentors and killing them, and asking the people at the nursery if they had lemon juice or vinegar to neutralize the stings.

Heh.

So, anyhow, I was about to do the "put the car in park and leap out of the car to frantically strip off my pants" thing when the Impossible Son said very sensibly, "Mama... it's your phone."

Oh.

So I slipped it out, and it was my friend, wanting to know what the traffic at the junior high was like.  Heh.  

Well, that was my heart-stopping moment of the day. 

So, we park, and I get the Impossible Son out of the car.  He hefts his backpack, wrinkles his nose and says, "What did you put in here?"

"Bricks," I said promptly.  "Really big rocks.  An iron skillet."

"Why'd you do that?"

"Oh, I figured you needed a little building up.  Makes you stronger.  Tougher.  You know, GUY stuff."

"Mom... that's not even funny."  But he was laughing anyway.

So, I met the new principal of his school.  *jaw drop*  She's built like a line-backer.  BIG.  Hands like shovels.  Big hearty voice.  I briefly, very briefly wondered if she was a guy in drag.  A really BIG guy, but no... she's a she.  But I tell you, I felt positively DAINTY next to her, and y'all know, I don't DO dainty!  But I felt tiny, especially when she shook my hand to introduce herself to me, and my hand nearly got lost.  I mean that.  Her hand ENVELOPED mine.  The last time I felt that physically overwhelmed, I had met Hakeem Olajuwan at the University of Houston.  I was in the bookstore, and a text I needed was on top of a very tall stack, no step stools in sight, nor chairs, and as I stood there, wondering how I was going to get it, a massive hand appeared over my head, lifted the book down, and a voice said, "Is this what you were looking at?"

I blinked, and said, "Yes, thank you," and turned around to find myself staring at Mr. Phi Slama Jama himself (oops, just dated myself there).  His hand was ginormous and when he shook mine, I felt like a toddler shaking an adult's hand.  That's how I felt this morning.  Sad thing is, she's not THAT much taller than me.  Maybe 5'7"? 

Anyhow, I think I will head off to the track for some well-deserved solo time.  With my headphones on, and my phone NOT in the front pocket of my pants!