Grab a chair and a couple of root beers...

I went to see the doctor today. And yeah, I was expecting the, "Wow, it's just you today??"

So, you know, I go in, sit down in the exam room, and the nurse says, "Okay, so why are we seeing you?"

I didn't answer, I just held up Zombie Toe. I was wearing flip-flops, because I can't stand any pressure on Zombie Toe at the moment. The nurse went green and said, "OHmigod..." and then the obvious question, "does it hurt?"

*sigh*

"Yes," I said with great patience, because what I really wanted to say was, "There is a great, gaping hole in my toe where my toenail used to be, oozing blood and other stuff I don't want to know what it is... what do you think???" But I didn't. I mean, she was an innocent bystander in this, no need to bite her head off.

Yet.

So... she takes my vitals while avoiding looking at my foot, and then goes to get the PA, who takes a look at it and swallows hard before putting on gloves to examine it, then she flees and gets Dr. W., who comes in, makes a face and says, "What the hell did you do to your toe, Auntie??"

Did I mention I like Dr. W. a lot?

"I toe-punched a soccer ball," I said glumly.

"What the hell did you do that for?" she asked, putting on gloves. Then she took away my ability to speak by squeezing, poking, and prodding Zombie Toe, which made Auntie very unhappy and very grumpy. I said, "Ow!" a few times, and mostly kept my mouth very tightly shut and thought of more pleasant things, like a bomb dropping on the medical clinic. Or a grand piano. Tiny planet, maybe.

She looked back at me and frowned and said, "You know, Auntie, this is one of those cases where having a high pain threshold is a distinct disadvantage. Because one, this is pretty infected, and two, you did some pretty serious damage here. Your toenail might not grow back."

Yes, Zombie Toe is swollen and itchy, and I'm on doxycycline, because I'm allergic to a lot of antibiotics, and while they considered levaquin, I begged off because levaquin knocks me off my feet and turns me into a puddle of Helpless Auntie. The kids have a week and a half of school left, and I can't be off my feet before that. So... doxycycline it was.

I go back Friday to see if there's any improvement in the swelling and pain.

In the meantime, I can look forward to wearing more flip-flops because I can't put pressure on the toe, so... no sneakers. And I'll be soaking my foot twice a day, too. This will be FUN!!

OH, and, they wrapped my toe up to protect it, turning it from Zombie Toe.... to Mummy Toe!



Sandals, I must look for sandals now. *sigh*

This is just... so full of suck.

First off, let me say that... barium tastes like... thick, gloppy...dirt. Yeah. Thick, gloppy, berry-flavored dirt.

Nope, don't wanna do that again, nope, nope, nope.

Second, do people really yell at medical staff when facilities are crowded and an emergency case comes in and things get a little backed up? Because everyone I dealt with at the radiological center thanked me so profusely for my patience, and simply loved having Auntie in their charge. I've never seen the point of yelling or fussing when things are obviously beyond the staff's control. Emergencies happen, and I had no problem letting a little girl with what looked like the Epic Crushing Migraine of Doom go ahead of me, you know?

CAT scans have changed a lot in the last ten years.

Barium. Eurgh... not again, nope. *goes to wash taste of barium out of mouth... again*