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Frustration!!!!!
Wednesday, April 9th, 2008 07:44 amDear Jenny's Dad,
You know that mile and a half stretch of Clear Fork between your street and City Line Road? Yeah... NOT A SCHOOL ZONE!!!
So there's like, no excuse for you to be driving 15 f**king miles an hour the WHOLE ENTIRE WAY!!! You know all those people behind you, honking and waving fists and fingers? Dude, they're not honking because they love Jesus, as your bumper sticker would indicate. They're honking because if you were going any slower... YOU'D BE GOING BACKWARDS!!!
If we could, we'd be passing you in droves, but the road won't allow it. What the hell are you doing in there, anyway? I mean, we can see you and Jenny moving around in that little green Cabriolet. Of course, knowing Jenny, she's probably waving her arms and shouting, "Geez, Dad, can't you go any faster??? Can't you hear the cars behind us honking?? I'M GOING TO BE LATE!! I COULD GET THERE FASTER IF I WERE WALKING... WITH A BROKEN LEG!!!!" and ending with some variant of a wailed, "YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME!!!"
And knowing you, you are probably saying stuff like, "Okay, Jenny, now you be good girl today! You don't talk to any boys, you don't touch any boys, no holding hands, no kissing, no buggy eyes, because you do that, and the next thing you know, BAM, you're Pregnant, and I don't want you getting Pregnant. You're a smart girl, Jenny, you going to college, and I don't want no boy keeping you from College! Any boy try to touch you that you no like, you're strong, you bash him but GOOD with your fist, and if you shy, you no want to bash him, you tell ME, and I bash him but good!!..." etc, etc, etc...
But... can't you do all that a little... you know... FASTER???
Geez, life in a small town....
You know that mile and a half stretch of Clear Fork between your street and City Line Road? Yeah... NOT A SCHOOL ZONE!!!
So there's like, no excuse for you to be driving 15 f**king miles an hour the WHOLE ENTIRE WAY!!! You know all those people behind you, honking and waving fists and fingers? Dude, they're not honking because they love Jesus, as your bumper sticker would indicate. They're honking because if you were going any slower... YOU'D BE GOING BACKWARDS!!!
If we could, we'd be passing you in droves, but the road won't allow it. What the hell are you doing in there, anyway? I mean, we can see you and Jenny moving around in that little green Cabriolet. Of course, knowing Jenny, she's probably waving her arms and shouting, "Geez, Dad, can't you go any faster??? Can't you hear the cars behind us honking?? I'M GOING TO BE LATE!! I COULD GET THERE FASTER IF I WERE WALKING... WITH A BROKEN LEG!!!!" and ending with some variant of a wailed, "YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME!!!"
And knowing you, you are probably saying stuff like, "Okay, Jenny, now you be good girl today! You don't talk to any boys, you don't touch any boys, no holding hands, no kissing, no buggy eyes, because you do that, and the next thing you know, BAM, you're Pregnant, and I don't want you getting Pregnant. You're a smart girl, Jenny, you going to college, and I don't want no boy keeping you from College! Any boy try to touch you that you no like, you're strong, you bash him but GOOD with your fist, and if you shy, you no want to bash him, you tell ME, and I bash him but good!!..." etc, etc, etc...
But... can't you do all that a little... you know... FASTER???
Geez, life in a small town....
