The warping begins to show...

So, I was baking cookies yesterday. The Impossible Son will be ten this weekend, and so rather than bringing cupcakes to school, I'm bringing cookies. It would be hypocritical of me to bring cupcakes, since those days when there's a party in his class, Mr. Impossible moves at supersonic speeds, thanks to the dyes in the icing. So, I make cookies, and the teacher usually looks happy because she gets some too, and there's usually some form of chocolate in there, so there's that.

Anyhow, the Impertinent One decided to do one of her gag fanarts for Kingdom Hearts, inspired by my baking, and by the Husbandly One's extremely friendly reaction to my baking, and... here it is...

Baking by ~angryzangoose on deviantART

What?? Does my daughter know what yaoi is? OF COURSE, SHE DOES!! I am her mother, do you think I would neglect this part of her education? PLEASE!!

*laughs*

Speaking of yaoi and Kingdom Hearts, one of the Impertinent One's friends has decided she doesn't like Kingdom Hearts anymore. Why? Because a couple of years ago, she decided to Google "yaoi," and was... traumatized, I guess, by the idea of two men being all lovey dovey with each other, which I guess means she never watches television or reads the newspaper, or is just randomly oblivious to the world...

Anyhow, the reason she doesn't like Kingdom Hearts any more is because if you take the letters in the name "Xemnas" (a character in Kingdom Hearts) and rearrange them, you get the word, "Man sex."

O_o??

Uh-huh. So... simply rearranging the letters of one character's name makes it, what... a yaoi game?? It's all about the MAN SEX, not killing a lot of Heartless and collecting all the... hearts... to make Kingdom Hearts... right... because you know, every time I play the game, I'm having such a hard time killing the Leech Grave because I keep getting distracted by Roxas getting it on with Axel over behind the wall, right?

Yeah.

Of course, I am expecting logic from a 14 year old girl who has an obsession with narwhals. In other words, she's very sheltered.

And no, I haven't defeated the Leech Grave yet, because evidently I am hopeless at video games. But I keep trying!

*blushes and edges out of the room*

MUUAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

My plans for World Domination Through Cookies is proceeding nicely!!! Haha!!!

Er... I mean... I made cookies for the Impossible Son's class today, because his birthday is on Sunday, and... I brought them in, remembering to set aside a bagful for one of the teachers at the school. Why did I do this? Well, Mrs. L. is not only a pre-kindergarten teacher, her husband is on the soccer board AND her daughter is goalie for the varsity soccer team. This daughter has been giving the Impertinent Daughter a hard time, and I realized the best way to defeat this was to win over Mrs. L.

It's working, too. *evil grin* And the cookies... heh, no one can resist my cookies!!!

Varsity Goalie is nervous now, and has been backing off from Miss Impertinent.

Yes, yes, I am evil, I know. XD

Anyhow, I proceeded on to Mr. Impossible's class and they pretty much just... inhaled the cookies!! I took double chocolate chip and chewy ginger. It's funny, they were all sort of doubtful about the ginger, but... once they tried them, they disappeared pretty fast! One of the girls came up and asked me shyly if I would make cookies for her on Tuesday.

"Why, is it your birthday?" I asked, not wanting to step on her mother's toes, so to speak.

"No," she said dreamily as she nibbled at her cookie. "I'm in... cookie heaven! And I want to go there again!"

*snorfle*

YES, I AM THE COOKIE GODDESS, AND YOU MUST ALL BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP ME!!! MUUAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

um... yeah, anyway... it was awesome! And the Impossible Son was pretty happy, too!